Letting go of the past and moving forward isn’t so easy for many of us but this feature talks about what we can look forward to in the next phase of our lives and what no longer fits. Growth and change is a natural process that occurs in life and we can let it happen gracefully rather than resist it.
What is the time period called when one chapter of your life has ended and the next one hasn’t yet come into being?
It’s called, “Chrysalis Time.”
The time in between being a caterpillar and fully becoming a beautiful butterfly. That’s where the chrysalis is. In that silence, in that stillness, in that inner growth before change manifests in our lives. And that’s exactly where I am.
I thought this was the perfect feature to write for the New Year because it’s the time where all of us are re-calibrating and wondering what we’re doing with our lives and how we can feel more fulfilled and alive. January is when the majority of people are making resolutions and then breaking them and wondering what happened because they don’t have their best self in mind. They’re too focused on their end goal and they want everything now now now. That doesn’t work, folks. Sometimes I wish it did to get us through the messy times in our lives when we’re confused or upset or feeling lost. But it’s those awful moments that actually end up being the most beautiful ones and they’re filled with learning and growth and strength.
I want you to make this New Year about coming into your own and knowing that no matter what you’re treading through right now, there is a reason for it and if you give yourself some space to relax and sit back and let life guide you, you’ll start to see that you are meant to be exactly where you are. And that’s a beautiful thing.
All I know is that there are big changes coming. I can feel them. I’ve felt them for quite some time now. I’ve felt the need to shift a lot of things in my life that no longer feed my soul and let go of what doesn’t bring me joy.
The first change was me healing my body and feeling better than ever after a decade of non-stop health issues. I started to feel like a human being again and came back into the real world, which was (and has been) fascinating and beautiful and emotional to see my body working again.
Then, my work started to pull me in a different direction- away from the world of worrying about how many social media followers and likes I have to a place of listening to my intuition and building something beautiful to help people on a deeper level. When you go through something as painful and deep as what I went through for as long as I did and you come out of it, you can no longer post a brownie recipe with a bunch of hashtags and pretend that’s fulfilling. Because it’s not. I’m over that stage. It served its purpose and now I’m ready to go deeper. Because now I have the brain space to think about where I want to go and how I want to help all of you, something I didn’t have throughout the last decade. There is so much more, which is exactly why I’m bringing you deeper to help you heal beyond food.
Little changes have started happening to move me into a new space in my life- mentally and physically.
Two months ago, my apartment building was sold and I moved into a beautiful new place five blocks away with a gorgeous new kitchen and lots of natural light.
Then, I started to want to shower everyday (this was NOT the case when I was not well…I barely had energy to feed myself) and get dressed up and wear makeup and jewelry and heals and feel like a woman. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! What a feeling, ladies, isn’t it? Gosh I really, really missed this.
Then, some more little things started shifting one by one.
Men started smiling at me on the street and saying hello to me. Hmmmmmmmm…
I had enough energy to go for a long walk everyday.
I started eating out at restaurants and have enough clear space in my head to enjoy the experience instead of sit in fear that I was going to get sick from eating something drenched in gluten, dairy or soy.
I finally started resting into myself and learned how to BE (instead of DO) for once. My nervous system has thanked me over and over again. I feel calmer than ever and there’s a sense of wisdom and groundedness that I feel is empowering every step of my day. I’m no longer the victim of all the crap that happened to me. Instead, I’m a woman with a hell of a lot of information in my head from food to medical literature to detoxification to hormone imbalances to energy work and beyond. I can see the big picture now; more so than I ever have and I can’t help but want to be pulled in that direction to shine the light for all of you.
So, what does this chrysalis time do for us when we’re in between what we once were and what we’re yet to be?
It’s a time that comes to all of us.
And that’s exactly what we’re talking about about today.
Changing From the Inside Out
This stage of tossing away the old and stepping through the messy situation of being neither a caterpillar or a butterfly is a time of transition and is a time for you to get quiet with yourself and allow yourself time to BE and not DO. Like Oprah once said, “When you don’t know what to do, do NOTHING.”
Chrysalis happens inside the cocoon; it’s a time to reflect and to give yourself boundaries from people and events and phone calls and other things that drain you.
It’s a normal stage of growth and life.
It’s meant to be messy and confusing and exciting but unsure of where your heart will lead you.
It’s not meant to be rushed.
It’s meant to allow you to embrace compassion for yourself.
It’s meant to show you that you are strong and that if you let go and flow with where life is trying to guide you, you will make it through the discomfort of this time.
You can’t control the timeline of a process of becoming something new. There’s no planning here. It’s like nature; the leaves don’t fall off the trees in the summer…they fall off in Autumn because that’s when its time for them to let go. The trees are patient and don’t rush anything; it’s a natural process. Just like your growth and healing is a natural process.
When we get quiet with ourselves and we journal or we connect on a deep level with someone we trust and feel comfortable with, we can start to lean away from what no longer fits in our lives and lean into what brings us joy and feels good.
What is your vision? Where do you see yourself?
What brings you joy? What makes you feel fulfilled?
Think about those questions and start journaling your thoughts. I promise you that things will pop up that you had no idea about before you grabbed the pen. There is a big BLANK space in your future but if you can just try to visualize or feel what you want to feel when you get to where you are going, you’ll start to piece together where you’re meant to be day by day. I usually get insights or ideas throughout the day when a light bulb goes off in my mind and at night in my dreams. I jot them all down in a notebook until they all start to come together for me as one cohesive unit. You’ll soon see you’re preparing yourself to step into the next level of clarity to emerge from where you feel stuck.
If you’re in your chrysalis time, this is your work. Accept yourself, have compassion for yourself, take it slow, rest, meditate, listen to my relaxing music playlists, get quiet with yourself and let life bring you into what’s emerging for you.
Change is inevitable. If you want to heal, if you want to grow, if you want more out of life, you will soon realize that the murky waters of this growth process will lead you into bigger and better things than you could have ever imagined.
Do you feel like you’re in a chrysalis time during this New Year season? I’d love to hear from you.