(aka): Playing small.
(aka): Thinking you’re not good enough to do whatever the heck it is that you are passionate about. Whatever it is that your soul is pulling you towards. You know the feeling. We all know the feeling. But how many of us actually listen to it? We’re often too busy pushing those feelings and passions away so that we can be logical (because that’s how many of us were raised–to only use our logical mind) and then we end up being miserable in life and feeling stuck. And we wonder why we’re feeling stuck.
So, why does this happen?
Why do we do this to ourselves?
Because we get scared to move forward/try something new and we want to stay ‘safe’ in our bubble of what we know.
It goes for anything.
Not wanting to interview for a new job to get to the next level. Not wanting to leave your hometown to move somewhere that’s not familiar to you. Not wanting to break up a relationship for fear that you won’t find someone who’s right for you. Not wanting to go to a party because you don’t feel like you’re pretty enough. Not wanting to public speak because you don’t think you’re good enough. Not wanting to approach a good looking guy because you don’t think you’re thin enough. Etc, etc, etc. You get the picture.
It all comes down to two things we all have inside of us.
We like to keep everything safe and ‘okay’ because that’s a safe, stable, low maintenance place to be. The alternative?
To engage in a fulfilled life and listen to your heart. This route has its challenges, which is what’s scary for many of us but it’s the journey to feeling fulfilled and ALIVE in life. That is worth it. Trust me.
You see, each of us has ingrained, unconscious ideas of how good we are and how successful we can be in life. Psychologist, Gay Hendricks, calls these “Upper Limits” and has shared many suggestions on how to identify and transcend these self-imposed limits that we put on ourselves.
Hendricks says that to make leaps in our life, we must learn to identify and transcend our Upper Limit, wherever and whenever we encounter it.
“I haven’t met a person yet who didn’t suffer at least a little bit from what I call the Upper-Limit Problem. Even if you’re already extravagantly successful, I’m sure that your own version of the Upper-Limit Problem is still holding you back from achieving your true potential,” he says.
Hendricks states that we often create painful images because we are feeling good. So, when something good happens, we are afraid of enjoying the positive energy for a long period of time. When we reach this Upper Limit of how much goodness we can handle, we create numerous painful thoughts to deflate ourselves. What these painful thoughts do is make us return back to an emotional state that we are more familiar with (aka not feeling good).
This can happen with anything in life such as healing after a decade of chronic illness and entering back into the real world, which is what happened to me last year. I was so used to feeling awful and so used to feeling pain IN my body and IN my mind that I started to expect these feelings and I started to put myself back into that state to feel ‘safe’ even though I was starting to feel better and heal. I noticed this, which is a huge step, to begin with, and since I was aware of what I was doing, I made sure to seek out energy workers and mind/body practices to help me move forward.
I remember feeling stuck.
I felt like I couldn’t move forward in my life because the thought of being a normal person in the real world was scary and also made me feel like an adult, which was so scary, as well. I had been sick since I was 22 and at 33, I froze. I didn’t know what to do. I started realizing that I had shut out everyone from my life because I was in so much pain and in survival mode just trying to survive everyday-let alone feed myself, bathe myself and keep up with my business.
Now that I was healing, my body and my mind were opening up to the real world and I was scared. Hello fear. I only thought fear was like ‘fear of heights’ or ‘fear of lions, tigers and bears’ but what I didn’t realize was that this was a real fear that I had inside of me and I had to address it if I wanted to move forward in my life to fully heal and be a normal woman in a normal world, to get back into the dating world and to do things like go to movies and non-work events and to just have FUN. I was scared to have FUN.
Can you believe that? I’m like a ball of fun but I was so nervous that I didn’t deserve it because I had suffered for so long. Guess what was holding me back?
Fear, fear, fear.
Continued in Part II…
If this feature resonated with you, I’d love to have you join me for my last retreat of 2018, The Experience: Discover the Missing Pieces Keeping You from Optimal Health, Weight & Happiness.
Now, for the first time ever, I’m sharing my NEW method, The Experience, with you to help you improve the quality of your life and empower you to learn how to take your health into your own hands. In this fun, interactive and relaxing three-day retreat for women of all ages, my focus will be on nourishment, embodiment and empowerment, not deprivation.
This retreat will unlock what’s holding you back from feeling your best while addressing the missing pieces that are affecting all of us on a cellular level.
I truly hope to see you there! xx