My Burnout definition goes something like this…you feel depleted, fatigued and exhausted. You’re too tired to think and you’re a walking body filled with brain fog. Your nights consist of insomnia, your schedule and to-do list are out of control, you don’t know how to say “NO” to anyone and your mind never turns off.
Sound familiar?
I thought so. Here’s how to get your booty back into gear, save your adrenals before you ruin your health and start to take the reins of your life instead of letting life drag you along.
The “Hustle”.
We’re all familiar with it.
We’ve all done it.
And we’re over it.
I’ve been over it for a long time now.
“Hustling” a.k.a. burned out my adrenals, left me feeling depleted, tanked my thyroid and stressed me out to the max. It’s doing the same thing to everyone else, they’re just on a different timeline and they’re too numb to realize it. There’s an incredible quote by Bene Brown below that pretty much sums up what ‘the hustle’ is all about. It’s that crazy-busy lifestyle that keeps you pushing yourself harder and harder and harder and harder until we feel like we’re worthy and we’re achieving success. Somewhere along the line we forgot to remember that this is the perfect way to have a nervous breakdown because you’re ignoring and shoving down all of your feelings and not sitting with yourself in silence to really feel what’s going on inside of you. It’s also how we keep a smile on our face even though shit is hitting the fan in our life, but we want everyone to think we’re happy. It’s the non-stop go, go, go mentality that is all over social media and is making young women and men push themselves far too much- to the point that they’re eating their meals at their computers and getting less than 6 hours of sleep a night.
Well, I was there once.
In my 20’s.
I pushed.
And pushed.
And pushed.
I pushed for years and “Hustled.”
To make my parents proud, to make myself proud and to feel worthy. Worthy of what? I’m not really sure. But, it took me 10 years to build my body back up to perfect health to start to realize how my ‘crazy-busy’ lifestyle that I LOVED (yes I loved it because it kept me, well, busy and I loved what I was doing), was really killing me on the inside.
“‘Crazy-busy’ is a great armor, it’s a great way for numbing. What a lot of us do is that we stay so busy, and so out in front of our life, that the truth of how we’re feeling and what we really need can’t catch up with us.”
-Bene Brown
I’m sure you all know someone (or many people…or yourself and your family) who is ‘always crazy-busy’. It makes us feel important to be busy and to constantly be DO-ING instead of BE-ING. What’s with that?
Like, why can’t we feel worthy and important when we’re not trying to juggle a million and one things? It’s kind of sad, isn’t it?
So, why do we do this to ourselves?
According to Psychology Today, “Given how the human psyche operates, it’s almost impossible not to parent ourselves similarly to how we were parented originally. If our caretakers dealt with us in a hurtful manner, as adults we’ll find all kinds of ways to perpetuate that unresolved pain onto ourselves”.
Interesting, isn’t it?
So, we treat ourselves our our parents treat us. Yes, this could mean many things from physical abuse to verbal abuse or the crazy-busy mentality abuse. It could mean a lot of things to a lot of different people and I’m sure your mind is swarming around with ideas of what your childhood was like and how that relates to the way you treat yourself. I love both of my parents dearly, but I was pushed. A lot. A whole lot. Too much, in my opinion- but it shaped me into who I am so for that I’m grateful for them, however, I’m very hard on myself and my self-worth and self-acceptance have been hard to cultivate, even though I have a lot of self esteem. It’s amazing how we push ourselves just like our parents pushed us, isn’t it?
I bet you can look back on your childhood and see similarities right now, as well. Don’t judge it. Just witness it and acknowledge it. And recognize that your “hustle” may just be a product of your environment from when you were a wee little one.
Let’s look at the word HUSTLE in the dictionary, shall we?
Hustle Definition
Hustle: [huhs–uh l]
verb (used without object), hustled, hustling.
1. to proceed or work rapidly or energetically.
2. to push or force one’s way; jostle or shove.
3. to be aggressive, especially in business or other financial dealings.
Burnout Definition
Burnout: [burn-out]
verb
1. The reduction of fuel or substance to nothing through use or combustion.
2. Physical or mental collapse caused by overwork or stress.
Neither of these sound good to me. They sound awful, actually.
When I was a kid, a teenager and in my 20’s, I was ALL of these 3 things. Then, I hit rock bottom again with my health and I learned how to soften and let go and BE instead of DO because my body simply couldn’t push any longer. It was a blessing in disguise- even though at the time, I thought my life was ending.Now, I look back and realize that the “Hustle” is a bunch of crap.It is.Excuse my French, please.So, how can you pull yourself into “Hustle” Rehab?
To me, “Hustle” or “Type A” Rehab is a journey and takes time.
But you can start today by Learning How to Soften, Find Your Authentic Self, Trust Yourself so that you can remain calm and centered without feeling so scattered and in fear of everything- such as moving forward in your life or doing something that scares you because you don’t think you’re worthy or good enough. Once you start to experience an inner calm and more centered feeling, you’ll see how you have less of a need to “Hustle” and more of a need to let go, flow and allow life to work for you instead of always having to push for everything or work so hard that you feel like you’re drained.
Another step is to stop feeling like you have to prove yourself to everyone else and stop trying to ‘stay busy’. Take time for YOU. Be with yourself. Sit with yourself. Look at your stuff. What stuff, you ask? The scary feelings and thoughts that start to surface when you sit alone by yourself and start to feel your emotions.
It’s not easy and it sure the heck doesn’t feel good but if you don’t look at your emotions and you keep shoving them down inside of you, you can guarantee at some point in your life, you’ll hit a wall or have a breakdown not only from ignoring your feelings so they bottle up…but also because you’re “crazy-busy” and you forgot what it feels like to connect with yourself.
Let go of the outside world for a minute and go inwards. Sit with yourself in silence, see what feelings and emotions come up and look at them- that’s how you’ll start to release what’s wound so tightly inside of you and then you can break through those emotions to experience real, true depth in your life.I promise you, you’ll see your whole life start to shift and a whole new way of life open up to you.
Lots of love.
xo
Thank you for the reminder.
My pleasure Ivana; lots of love. xx
Amie, thank you so so so much for sharing this. I’ve been reading your blog for a while and it gives me hope for a healthier future for me and people around. You inspire. Thanks for that.
I’m so glad to hear this resonates with you Oksana. Thank you for your kind words. Have a beautiful week and remember you have the power. xx
I love this! Thank you for the reminder.
Thank you Joann; so glad to hear it resonated with you! xx