A few months ago one of the healer/body workers that I go to said to me, “Amie, whatever is meant for you is always meant to find you.” I stopped in my tracks and smiled. There’s a few ways to look at this journey of life that we’re all on. You can trust that you are being guided to what you need to learn and use that wisdom to help others or you can feel like a victim and think everything is happening to you and not for you. You could blame everyone else for everything that goes on in your life, you could be jealous of what everyone else has and you can feel alone- very alone. These are just a few ways to look at this journey called life.
For me, I went through all of these phases. I blamed my doctors and other people in my life, I felt like a victim, I felt alone and I felt lost. Until I woke up and started to realize that life is just this journey to find yourself, learn your lessons and then help others.
I had this huge shift in perception and sometimes when you’re in the middle of a health crisis or any crisis for that matter, you feel alone and lost and like the world is punishing you. That’s how I felt for many years until I started working on myself, shifting the way I looked at things and learned how to see the beauty in everything in life. It takes a lot for me to get angry or mad or stressed out these days. My hard drive crashed and I lost thousands of images a few months ago and I was like, “O well”. I can either sit here and be pissed off and yell like my father would do and freak out and get my cortisol sky high and stress out my adrenals and throw off my hormones or I can just accept it and move on and learn my lesson. And that’s just what I did.
It was a beautiful experience and made me realize I’ve come so far with my inner growth and I’ve become so strong internally that nothing outside of myself can knock me down. It took me many years to get to this place. A place of peace where I feel like I’m flowing with everything life. So, how did I do it?
I started to trust and have faith that I would heal and that everything was working out exactly as it should.
Were there still nights where I’d be lying in bed crying in pain?
Were there still days when I felt lost and no one could help me?
Were there still times when I wanted to give up and just die?
There were. But I saw past all of that. I knew there was a reason I was going through everything. Even the relapses that I had, which were SO painful in themselves- emotionally and physically. I’d try a new hormone supplement and BAM I was in bed with chronic muscle pain or I’d try a new herb and BAM or I’d try something for my thyroid and BAM or I’d try a new tea or a new food and BAM I was back to square one. In more pain, having to go back to body work and having to start over. I wanted to give up but I made it my life to get through it and to make it enjoyable for myself. I was determined and I had this inner knowing that everything was going to be okay, no matter what happened. Because, no matter what did happen, I knew I could handle it?
Because I had learned how to trust myself. And that inner trust alone made me stronger and able to move through pain beyond suffering.
Faith is a weird word. It reminded me of Catholic school and I was never a fan because Catholic school was sort of this brainwashing thing that I’d like to remove from my memory but that’s a whole other story. But for me faith didn’t have a connection to any religion. It was just like trust. I trusted and had this unshakable faith that everything was going to be okay. While everyone else was out partying and drinking and on vacations and bachelorette parties, I was home, in bed, trying to heal. At first, I was sad. Then, I was like….”Really, Amie. Would you honestly want to be drinking alcohol and eating burgers and fries in Vegas right now?” NO. I wouldn’t. That’s when I realized I was different from the typical 20-something woman, especially in Manhattan. But that was okay because I had made my healing my life and knew there was something bigger I was supposed to be sharing with people throughout my journey.
I trusted myself. I had faith that everything was going to be okay and even if things didn’t end up the way I wanted them to, everything did end up perfectly perfect. The fact that I’m alive and healthy and happy and living a life way beyond my wildest dreams is a DREAM. I cannot tell you how much I love talking to all of you and how much I love hearing from you and seeing the recipes of mine that you make on social media.
You light up my life and for that I’m forever grateful.
On those days when you want to give up, on those days when you want to quit…take a deep breath and realize that you are not alone. Trust yourself, trust your life and know that everything is working out exactly how it should be. In 10 years, you’ll look back and realize that everything happens exactly the way it should- a way beyond your wildest dreams, too.
Don’t stress about what your future looks like. Live for today. Trust your body and know that deep down inside, YOU have everything you need to heal and get your life back.
Lots of love,